Last Impressions Leaving First Impressions

I'm back with more sage advice.  Ready?  Keep reading.  Go on.
Okay, here it is. 


Do not neglect the back of your apartment door, it might be the last thing a visitor sees as they leave.  You hadn't thought of that had you?  That's why I'm here.  I told you it would be sage advice.

Let's jump right to an example you also might not have thought of.  Make a peephole cover.  No one needs to see into your apartment and you don't have to give them the means to do so.  You don't really need to see out either.  You'll do better to shout out "WHO IS IT?" after someone rings.  Make sure you yell loud and in a tone that lets them know they are really annoying you.  You may be watching Rachel Ray but they should think you're doing something important.  If they want to come in tell them you aren't the landlord and can't let people onto the property like that.

You want to keep an exclusive air about your interior.  Those who are good enough to get in should be confident that many others are not worthy of the privilege.  If you intend to let them inside it's always good to ask some fake qualifying questions anyway.  Once they do get in they'll feel like you're doing them a favor and your interior will be hallowed ground.  So much of design has nothing to do with the tangibles.  Seeing means very little sometimes.

Here's a peephole cover.  Nothing too special.  But when you surround this shape and texture with complimentary elements like a horseshoe, antlers and some scratchy art you've got a solid last impression.

Getting back to the exclusive entrance policy, if you don't have a good angry or loud voice let some stickers back you up.  I recommend letting people know you have a dog or weapons of some variety.  The picture below does both, though if they don't speak Italian they may take you for a dog hunter, which, though a different message, will put some fear into them all the same.

And to keep Taylor Swift fans (who are believe-it-or-not unafraid of both dogs and guns) away try this one:

That's all for today.  Remember that an insolent first impression paves the way to a good first last impression.